Sure.. I could post this on facebook and scare my friends and family.. but that is not my intent. I am seriously thinking about dying. It’s been a lot of years of the same thoughts… it comes with being bi polar. But as the years pass the thoughts and intent becomes even more intense.
I sit here all alone at 50 while my beautiful 25 year old boyfriend works and parties. It’s minutes into the New Year.. and the highlight of my night is waiting for Jimmy Buffet on Rockin New Years Eve.. I never found my salt shaker.. and honestly.. I don’t even care anymore.
A bottle of wine..a few Xanax and uneaten dinner I bought for us to share.. All for nothing. My life was so charmed… but something went wrong. I found out that I am not special.. and I am not unique…and my life has not been anything like I hoped it would be.
So… If I make it through the night.. I will pick my fat ass up and try to make some changes. And if I don’t . Well… nobody will know…. cause nobody knows I even have this account.